Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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