once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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