ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
