you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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