i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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