I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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