She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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