You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
