Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
