dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
