I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
