I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
