My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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