His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
