ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
