hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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