do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I fill condoms, not promises.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
