So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
