Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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