If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
