i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
