her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
