he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Too much gin, very little bucket
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am available for nakedness
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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