Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
