I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
