yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How does one acquire holy water?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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