I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
