Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize