Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
