That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
