Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
