Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
