no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
