he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
