is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
