My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize