i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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