I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
