im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
