Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
