i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize