i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
