i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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