i already hear my dad disowning me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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