I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
