Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
