kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
