Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
