i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
