And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
