The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
