i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Randomize
