My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
