I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
