Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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