dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
