Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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