My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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