It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
