You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize