they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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