Small penises have feelings too.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We got so high we made milksteak
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Randomize