I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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