yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
