The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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