So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
