I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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